I am an alcoholic. I know what it is like to burn with a desire to drink that is so overwhelming that family, jobs, and friends mean nothing compared to liquor. I know what it is like to wake up at 2:00 a.m. with the burning in my stomach that can only be relieved by drinking about a pint of liquor and going back to sleep only to wake up a few hours later, burning again.
I had been drinking for the past 16 years. At first, I would drink about a pint a day, but never before 5:00 p.m. After a few years, I would drink a fifth of liquor every two days, but never before noon. After a few more years, I would drink a fifth every day, but never before breakfast. After ten years, a half gallon every two days. My family, my life, and my body began to fall apart.
At that point I had been married for 15 years and had two sons. One was 13, and one was 11 years old. I slowly began to lose everything I had worked for: my house, my family's belongings…most of which I destroyed in drunken outrage. Five more years of hell on earth went by. I don't think my wife and kids hated me, but I know they hated being home and loathed me. I spent about $4,000 a year on liquor, a low estimate of $65,000, which would have easily paid my house off. We also had to live in tents for six weeks because of my alcoholism. I don't know why, but my family still stuck by me.
I also know the joy and excitement of complete deliverance from the power of alcohol addiction and never cease to praise God for such deliverance. I couldn't stand the way I was living, but I didn't think I could make it being a Christian and living for God. But God had a different plan for me, and my testimony of how God's power of love and grace impacted my life started on March 7, 2006.
In February 2006, I received a notice in the mail for Jury Duty--great job for a self-employed alcoholic, yeah right! On March 7th, I went to the court house for jury selection. My name was called to be on the Grand Jury. I decided I would go through with it and not come up with any excuses to get out of it. Larry Sherrill was head of the selection process and gave the jurors a speech, and said if we ever needed anything to call him.
Jury duty was okay, but I didn't make any money that week, except enough to buy liquor. My wife came home on Friday and asked me for the house payment. I told her to shut up and clean the house. She popped me on the nose, which infuriated me into a rage. I cursed and yelled, "I'll give you something to clean!"
Once again, I destroyed the inside of the house. Pam said she was going to call the police, but I ignored her and went to lie down. My rule is no one calls the police, because someone has to go to jail. About then, a friend came to pick up his transmission that I had fixed for him. Pam was outside on the phone when I got in my truck to leave.
On the way to the shop a police car went flying by. I knew that if I got pulled over I would get a DUI, so I pulled my truck into the shop and did a Batman, hiding my truck like Batman used to hide the Batmobile. I had my friend take me to town, I had a friend call my wife, and indeed she did call the police. I was mad--steaming mad. I had money, and I wanted some liquor, so I started walking.
The closest liquor store was 30 miles away, but I walked 10 miles until I gave out. I was mad, but sober by now. There was a police car sitting at the gas station, and I was arrested for Domestic Assault. I paid my bond Saturday morning and drove straight to the liquor store.
When I got back to town, I went to see all the officials who owed me a favor and could get no help because of the domestic laws in Tennessee. Finally, I got someone to agree that if Pam moved in with her mother, I could stay at the house so I would have a place to live.
I stayed in a motel Saturday night. I missed my family...I was alone, alone with a bottle of Ancient Age. I tried to commit suicide, and while I was sobbing, I remembered what Larry had said at the jury meeting. I called him at home, Saturday at 11:00 p.m., and told him everything. He told me to come see him Monday morning. On March 12th, I walked into Larry's office and told him my life story...everything. He said," I have someone you need to talk to." He picked up the phone and called someone. About fifteen minutes later, Ralph Reagan walked into the room. I was going through the D.T.s and was shaking and sobbing. Ralph placed his hand on my shoulder and told me everything would be okay if I would put everything in God's hands.
Ralph was the director of the Bread of Life Rescue Mission. He asked me to come to the clinic that evening. I needed a drink real bad, but I had promised Ralph and Larry that I wouldn't drink. I missed my family with every minute that passed by. I was angry, sad, and confused.
I went to the clinic that afternoon. I was trembling so badly that I couldn't write my name on the sign-in sheet. The doctor prescribed me Librium. That night I walked into a church for the first time in 17 years. The Librium made my body think I had alcohol in my system, and I continued to go to devotions each night, while working during the day. My wife and youngest son started coming to devotions each night with me, but I was still bitter and cold inside. I hadn't committed anything to God yet.
My court date came and Ralph said he would stand up and speak on my behalf. He didn't show; he went to the wrong court. I pled not guilty and the judge set the next court date for one month later. I was mad, real mad. I told Pam to forget it--I was going to Harriman and get me a bottle. I didn't go, but I went home and took every pill I could find in the house. I quit going to devotions and withdrew from the world. After a week, a couple of people from the mission stopped by the house. Pam was worried about me, so I told them I would come back to devotions.
At church on Sunday, I rededicated my life to God, and I felt the Holy Spirit take my hand and lead me to the altar. I knew that once I committed myself to God, I would never turn my back on Him again. My youngest son, Brent, was saved two weeks later. On Easter Sunday, Brent and I were baptized at church. One week later, my whole family was in church for the first time, after 20 years of marriage. I stood up and asked my family to forgive me for the 15 years of hell on earth I put them through. There was not a dry eye in the church. I couldn't stop praising the Lord for what He had done for me.
I went back to court at the first of May, and my charges were dismissed. I had my family back, but this time God was, and always will be, the head of my household.
God placed me in that jury to give me the choices to make in life to restore my life with Him and my family. I am currently employed at the Bread of Life and have completed my first year at Clear Creek Baptist Bible College. The two things that God made me realize is that He is faithful to answer prayer, and that He will place people and situations in your life to give you the opportunity to serve Him.
Six years ago, a 15-year-old boy came to the mission and prayed for his alcoholic father. That boy was my oldest son. God is real, I thank Him everyday, and I will continue to serve Him until I see him in Heaven.
Jim Young
June 2009
Jim Young
